TURBO · 5 · 00:00–06:00

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*jaunty music*

Mr James, this court has found you not guilty...

... of the crimes of assault and theft from Greggs the Pastry-makers.

You may walk from this court a free man.

Were it not for the quite extraordinary defense raised by Albert Wellen QC...

Who is only seventeen...

The day would have been very different.

Congratulations Mr Wellen.

Mr Wellen? Where are you?

He's gone to the Wetherspoons Ball my Lord!

Then let God go with him. The boy is a marvel.

*Applause in Courtroom*

*jaunty music*

The curfew begins at 6pm EST. Please stay in your houses.

Please tune in to local programming for curfew information.