National Sports TV · 4 · 06:00–12:00

NSTV. Serious sport.

*overly dramatic music*

Today on Sports Central, we apologize to the Tar Pits cheerleaders...

... after some accidentally-aired footage revealed their changing rooms.

You're supposed to be mature reporters.

We're not objects. We're real people.

When did Sports Central stoop so low?

Now, we go to a special report on the developing Kentucky Virus situation.

Insiders tell us that sporting authorities are days if not hours away...

... from advising the cancellation of all public...

... sporting events in the US for at least one week.

Is this something that will help, or an act of hysteria?

We'll have a debate with a panel of experts, recorded in studio.

It's absurd, simply absurd, to shut down the entire nation...

"Shutting down" is not...

... over a localized situation in Kentucky.

But thousands of fans traveling all across the States...

It's tyranny, that's all it is. Government overreach.

And when this virus blows over, you can bet...

... the government will keep their new laws...

It's harsh but necessary to stop the spread of a new virus.

We don't know how dangerous it is.

Which is exactly why we have to be cautious and not...

You can get your panties in a bunch, miss, but real Americans...

Excuse me, don't speak over me...

What can you expect, with a Democrat in the White House?

NSTV. Serious sport.