VHS: Eagle Down

Hey, that's a neat gun. Can I fire it?

Certainly. I made it from wood myself.

*gunshot, duck quacks*

Wow. What a kick! You made this?

Yes. I'm going to use it to kill the President.

The what? Why would you do a thing like that?

Why'd you shoot that nice little duckie, asshole?

*gunshot*

<bzzt>

Is that Agent Matt Evans?

Yeah. Who's this?

You can call me... Leon. You've been in the Secret Service for a very long time.

I saw you that day in '63, Matt. When Kennedy was killed.

I saw everything. You see, I was watching... through my scope.

I still remember how warm the grass on that knoll was...

And I'm coming out of retirement. Will you save this one, Matt?

<bzzt>

Control, this is Evans. Movement at the curtain. It could be Leon.

Evans, do not approach! The President is giving his speech.

Cowardice does not appear in the Constitution, despite the attempts of some...

Mr. President, get down!

*gunshot* <screaming>

For God's sake Evans, that was the President's surprise birthday cake!

Goddammit...