VHS: War Front

Tom, you seen the news?

...A US submarine has gone missing near the Irish coast. It's unknown...

...if the kidnapping of the Queen of England this morning is related.

They are related Tom. And you're gonna get our sub and the Queen back.

And I thought my day had peaked when my wife told me she's pregnant...

<bzzt>

This is Tom Heller. CIA liaison with the US Navy. Who are you?

Daniel O'Connor. Nice to meet you, even if we are on distant submarines.

What do you want?

We want the British out of Northern Ireland.

A lot of people are asking about the Queen, Daniel. Is she okay?

Yeah, she's right here.

Hello? This is the Queen.

Hello, Your Majesty. Are you being treated well?

Oh, very well. I just had a cheese sandwich. It's very small in here though.

Sit tight, Ma'am. Help is on the way.

<bzzt>

Audio analysis confirmed it, Jack. That wasn't the Queen.

That was just Daniel O'Connor doing an old woman voice.

We've been outplayed - again!

<bzzt>

So I lied, so what? The British have been lying for 800 years...

Just give us back the submarine, Daniel.

No, it's mine. Go away.

<bzzt>